How to appreciate the women in your life.

Appreciating the women in your life does not always mean buying the expensive gifts or doing the most, sometimes it is simple small gifts that show you care or that you are thinking about them. It is not about buying a gift on birthdays, Mother’s Day, or any of the special days marked out to celebrate women (although the gifts are welcome). There is an entire 365 days in a year that you can show the women in your life that they mean so much more than what they do in your life. In this article, author Bewaji Adeniji will give tips on how to appreciate the women in your life. Sisterhood is everything… Women, women, women! There is no world without women…literally. From popping out babies and taking care of them, to being single mothers working five jobs, women have done their absolute best in shaping and moulding the humans of the world. Women wear so many different hats that people forget that we can be delicate and fragile as well. We have gone through and done so much that often, we forget to take care of ourselves or that others can do that for us. We deserve the soft life. Yes, the soft life of kicking back and letting ourselves be doted on as we do for others. I am super guilty of that because, independent woman, I do not need anybody and if I cannot love on myself no one else can do it better! Partial lies I tell myself when deep down inside I just want someone to take me out and treat me like the queen I am. – But this is just my personal view, do not take me literally. Appreciating the women in your life does not always mean buying the expensive gifts or doing the most, sometimes it is simple small gifts that show you care or that you are thinking about them. It is not about buying a gift on birthdays, Mother’s Day, or any of the special days marked out to celebrate women (although the gifts are welcome). There is an entire 365 days in a year that you can show the women in your life that they mean so much more than what they do in your life. Here are some simple ways to show the women in your life how much you appreciate them: Say Thank You Say it often. Write it on a card. Send it in a text. Do not underestimate the importance of a simple thank you, it goes a long way. Spend time together Mothers devote 24/7 to their children when they are young. Spending time together is one of the greatest gifts to give your mum, especially once you are older. If it is not your mum, take the time out to spend time with the person, undivided. You can call them; invite them for dinner, or a drink. Ask your friend, mum, aunt or whoever it might be, to spend some quality time together. Quality time does not include pressing your phone the entire time or “working”. Be attentive and intentional about that time spent with them. Show Affection Our beloved African fathers can be guilty of this. Showing affection is almost a cringe-fest for them which have trickled down to the men they brought up. Things can change though. You are never too old to hug and kiss your sister, aunt, mother, cousin, wife, grandmother. Liberally give affection to the women in your life. They love it when it is wanted. Tell the person what you love about them and be specific about it. Tell them you love them often and do not just drop an I love you cause you think that is what she wants to hear. Try saying something like, “you’re an incredible person because you’re so kind. I love how much you give to others, not simple things like buying things but you give me time, you listen so amazingly, and I really appreciate our friendship and you.” Say things about that person that shows you have noticed them in all their glory. Check on them We all appreciate it when someone calls and says, “How have you been?” That regular check- up can make any human feel wanted. Also, it can be the thin line between someone making stupid decisions or not. Send flowers Some women love flowers. Send her something that will continue to bloom, like an orchid, and she will always be reminded of your appreciation. Giving Gifts/Love Languages Before giving a gift - consider first, what is that person's love language? Is it receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation and touch? Remember that just because your love language is one of these, does not mean that the woman in your life enjoys receiving love in the same way. Find out what her love language is and give based on what will be the most impactful for her. If you do want to give a gift, think about something that will be so meaningful to that person. Something different, not just a handbag or jewellery… What have they mentioned in the past that they love, is it a book, a specific piece of clothing, or an art piece? Find something that relates to something they LOVE or talk about a lot - e.g.: my housemate talked so much about wanting coffee and not knowing where to go so I decided to take her on a coffee date! Being Thoughtful Invite the female in your life for a nice feed, instead of going out. Cook them something you know they will love, spend time chatting and eating and enjoying the deliciousness that is food and friendship. Spend time making something meaningful, like a card and write down all the awesome things you love about her or make a cool photo board or a journal. Simply putting some time and effort into something special and meaningful can make someone feel like you really care. Bonus tip: You do realize that you are the most important woman in your life. What are you doing to acknowledge and appreciate your amazing self? How about thinking about all the things you are awesome at, what you love about yourself, how cool your brain is, how warm your heart is… time to write all those things down. So often we do not acknowledge all the things we are amazing at and all the things that make us a special human, so take a little time to really do that. James Taylor sings, “Shower the people you love with love.” When you show the women in your life how much you care, how much they mean to you, and how much you respect their hard work and sacrifice, not only will they feel great, but you will too. You will also set a good example for the next generation. Life gets busy. Days fly by. Do not forget that there is a woman in your life who always made you her priority. She should be yours too. About the writer: Bewaji is a Business Developer for CT Productions, agent of The Economist in West Africa. When she’s not doing that she focuses on her passion for food through her food business Casa B’Elise (@casa_b.elise). She enjoys all things Afrocentric and Bewaji is also an avid puff puff lover. She is a lover of poetry and music and all things random. You can reach out to her on IG @japhitwoman.